This should be easy to do ...

They say life comes at you fast …

Well, I think I’ve always had a fear of the unknown. That extends into a vast spectrum of life’s many hurdles. Love. Family. Career.
I’m so familiar with the way things are, it’s scary to imagine transitioning your life to form another mold.
Familiarity is a double-edged sword. It’s a good thing to know where you’ll be tomorrow, who you’ll be with, or what you’re doing.
But it can also be a burden.
I’ve spent the past 5 ½ years in a job that I don’t love. I’ve spent the past 5 ½ years working for someone who doesn’t respect me and who treats me as such.
Quoting the words of just about everyone I know, “I can’t believe I’ve stayed this long.”
I can’t.
I think if I didn’t have such a fear of change I would have left long ago.

The signs have always pointed in one direction – away from here.
My boss is very anti-family.
He doesn’t even want to think about anyone enjoying a home-life.

So I had to literally pull myself out of the box and seek this change I fear so much.
I did it.
I posted my resume.
I realized I don’t want to hold myself back, or be afraid to do anything just because of work.
Yet, the idea of leaving scares me to death.

Am I completely insane?

Well, much to my surprise I’ve had three possibilities arise within 3 days.

I’m qualified for all of them, and one more so than the others, but despite the amazing benefits package I’m iffy. I shouldn’t be. I should run away from this place and not look back.

Don’t get me wrong … it’s not always bad. But it’s as if you’re riding the hormone rollercoaster and you’re just waiting on the operator to decide if he’s going to stop the ride or keep on going.

I know, without a doubt, that change is what I need.
But the scared little girl in me is afraid ..
I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
How sad is that?
I’m working in a place where screaming, badmouthing, and gossip is the norm and I don’t want to “hurt” anyone’s “feelings”?

Change is good.
I need to remember that.
But sometimes the easiest things to do end up being the hardest…